


dicks hit me on the way out

by peraltiagoisland



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M, anyway this is short but also longer than i expected??, def dont know the characters well enough yet but, im IDIOT, so i ficed it :(, so im posting it, this got into my noggin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peraltiagoisland/pseuds/peraltiagoisland
Summary: Dennis is entrusted with the task of telling Mac that he has to use $9,986 from his $10,000 lottery prize ticket to pay for the arbitrator fees. Whether he's able to break the news is another story.





	dicks hit me on the way out

“Oh dude, you have no  _idea–_ “ the door slams shut behind Mac as he waltzes in, which is an okay way for him to walk now, as an openly gay man–“how great being gay and out is! I had such a good time, everyone was all over me, I think a couple of dicks hit me on the way out–“

Dennis offers a half smile. He’s covered head to toe in glitter again, and seeing him like this is almost… healing. It reminds Dennis of the time Mac’s feet pounded down the stairs at Paddy’s, pretending he was at The Rainbow™ for ‘a pot of gold’. He almost laughs at the thought now—what the hell even was that? Made no sense, is what it was, but, but seeing Mac now… gay, proud, gay: it’s almost touching, seeing him be so open, so honest, so…  _him._

_It’s something Dennis refuses to want for himself._

“The Rainbow? Again? Man, we have  _got_  to get you into some better gay bars–“

Mac’s eyes glaze over, looking briefly at the ground, and perhaps Dennis shouldn’t have phrased it like that, shouldn’t have made it seem like he would be going to said gay bars with Mac, heck,  _introducing_ said gay bars to Mac.

“Uh, yeah dude, yeah, sure—what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Dennis goes silent. Right. The bill. The arbitrator fees. That Mac was supposed to pay for. That everyone in the gang—Dennis included— _agreed_  that he should pay for, being ten thousand dollars richer than the man he was two days ago, after all.

But he can’t bring himself to do it, and it’s been a whole day since he had made the call to let Mac have a blissful, bill-free  _‘outta the closet for real now, bitches!’_ day, but he can’t say the words. He can’t break this, he can’t  _destroy_  whatever Mac’s got going on, whatever emotions he has that are running all high. He can’t do it today, he can’t do it tomorrow, he’s not sure he can ever do it.

“Uh…” he stalls, because he’s been staring at Mac silently for a while now and Mac’s probing eyebrow raises have dissolved into really weird and concerned looks. “I just, I called you back home to, to talk about your new business.”

“New business?”

“Ass,” god he can barely say the words, this is so fucking ridiculous, “ass pounder 4000!”

Mac gets this look of realization, and Dennis has to bite his lip to keep from losing it, because it’s so very obvious what a liar Mac is. But then Mac’s throwing his arm over Dennis’s shoulder  _(getting glitter on his good shirt, but somehow Dennis isn’t mad),_  talking animatedly about how his not-dick bike’s gonna be the next biggest thing _(it’s not, it really isn’t, but who’s Dennis to say that?),_  and Dennis realizes as they walk together, barely a modicum of space between them, that he’s weak for his best friend’s smile.

The next day, Dennis Reynolds makes a $9,986 withdrawal from his bank account.

And Mac never finds out that going to that damn arbitrator(s) cost a single cent.


End file.
